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Butterbox Survivors: Life After The Ideal Maternity Home. Robert Hartlen. 1999. 238p. Nimbus Publishing (Canada).
From the Back Cover: Since the 1992 publication of Butterbox Babies, the Ideal Maternity Home in Chester, Nova Scotia, has become synonymous with illegal adoptions and suspicious baby deaths. Much attention has been giving neglect of infants at the Home, the exorbitant fee paid by adoptive parents and the secretive nature of transactions.

But what became of the children who were adopted? What effect did their shaky beginnings have on their lives? Were they loved and cherished, or mistreated and ignored? Did they feel like “family”? did they always wonder who they were?

In this comprehensive book, author and Survivor Robert Hartlen has compiled the personal stories of thirty-six of the adult adoptees who survived the Ideal Maternity Home. Here we share in their most private memories and experiences: the painful struggles to come to terms with being adopted, the epic searches to find birth families, and the heartening sense of a surrogate family many adoptees found in many fellow Survivors. Also included are stories of some of the birth mothers who gave up their children, and some of he adopted mothers who claimed the babies as their own.

Underlying all the stories is the terrifying realization that except for an act of fate, or of grace, these Survivors might have shared an unmarked grave with their innocent fellow infants known and remembered as the “Butterbox Babies.”

At once uplifting and disquieting, these stories not only force us to confront a painful chapter in Nova Scotia’s history, but also challenge us to reconsider the whole notion of “family.”


The Care of the Mother Grieving a Baby Relinquished for Adoption. Rosemary Mander. 1995. 228p. Avebury.
Written by a British social worker as a thesis, this book necessarily has an academic tone, but it remains valuable nonetheless. Birth-mother grief and the lifelong implications of relinquishment are accurately portrayed through case studies and interviews. It’s a valuable addition to adoption literature and useful for the serious student of birth mothers. — Heather Lowe

Cast Off: They Called Us Dangerous Women, So We Organized and Proved Them Right. Lee H Campbell, PhD. 2014. 386p. L Campbell.
From the Back Cover: Adoption banned me from my baby and told me to forget him. When I couldn’t stay an amnesiac, I found others in the same boat. This is the true story of the personal and social waves we made in our comeback.

Cast Off twines two stories.

One story shows how being banned from her firstborn’s life affected her roles as a woman, a wife, and a mother of two others.

The second story reveals how, in the mid-1970s, she searched for mothers like me and invited them to help me form a new organization [Concerned United Birthparents, a/k/a CUB], the first of its kind anywhere.

Our unique band of mothers broke one taboo after another. We risked our rehabbed respect to spread our message across the United States. We swallowed hard when we revealed our state-sponsored secrets. We exercised the mother of all restraints when we followed our children’s lives from a distance. Along the way, we gathered support from some professionals. With them, we squared off against others in the adoption industry who exercised their money and might to block the changes we proposed. In the end, we expanded what it means to be whole.

As I look back after many decades, I don’t know how I had the courage to do any of it. After all, I was only a 1970s housewife, who a decade earlier had been kicked oout of high school. ut I did do it. And, I will prove how trusting your own instincts and imagination can infuse your spirit, too.


About the Author: Over her lifetime, Lee Campbell performed many traditional roles and invented still more. To Cast Off, she brings her roles as an every-which-way mother, a writer, a social science professor and a curator. She also describes how larger forces dragged he by the ankles until she was raw and she accepted her most challenging role of all: a first of its kind social warrior, which landed her four times on Donahue, on Oprah, and on countless other broadcast and print media.


By the Same Author: Stow Away (2013).


Catching Butterflies: A Memoir. Freida Barnes. 2011. 186p. CreateSpace.
With refreshing simplicity, humor, and candor, Freida Barnes chronicles her life to date. From an abusive childhood, to spending years in a cycle of drugs, crime and prison, to becoming an active counselor for ex-offenders and experiencing a truly inspiring redemption, Catching Butterflies will surprise and encourage you as it shows how there is truly always hope for anyone.

Child Custody For Men Only, Part Two: The Illicit Adoption of the Author’s Child by Mia Farrow and Woody Allen. Carl Guichard Sr. 2005. 163p. AuthorHouse.
Author’s Description: This sequel to Child Custody For Men Only (1983), became necessary to show how the printing of the original story created untold obstruction of American Justice against its author and children. Events which occurred after the original publication in 1983, and the subsequent revelation of the book to Texas authorities, created an unbelievable entanglement between Houston, Texas, both Federal and State authorities; along with Dallas, Texas Federal Authorities, and the United States Judicial System who all conspired to “railroad” the author for its printing. The Texas authorities became incensed at the many references to Texas’ civil procedures; reference, “fighting a divorce custody matter in Texas for men is like pissing in the wind” along with other references, I also knew that the “game playing” within the Houston Judicial System is one of deceit and injustice, where women are involved, since judges and attorneys are “sex warlords,” end quote. The 1983 book, although not widely publicized, was later brought to their attention when the characters; Pandora (Lorraine Karkosky Guichard, Texas Common Law Wife) and Dalila (ex-wife 1980 Della Brewer Wisnieske) both sought to bring false accusations and believing revealing the 1983 publication of the book would incriminate the author. The fact that the issues, as stated within the original part one, and the subsequent events which occurred after its publication, did not allow any authority in the State of Texas to question the issuance of legal documents as granted by the State of Louisiana, or the authenticity of the contents of the first book. These violations against the “freedom of the press” should be taken very seriously within the United States. The destruction of an American Family over the printing of a book has most certainly occurred. — Carl T. Guichard Sr.

Compiler’s Note: All efforts to find any evidence of the existence of the previous book allegedly published in 1983 have thus far been unsuccessful.


Choices, Chances, Changes: A Guide to Making an Informed Choice About Your Untimely Pregnancy. Carol Anderson, Lee Campbell, & Mary Anne Manning Cohen. 1981. 63p. (1984.) Concerned United Birthparents.
“This booklet was written in response to the many questions CUB members are asked by people who are experiencing an untimely pregnancy. ... We [birth parents] are experts ... because we have all faced unplanned pregnancies ourselves. We hope that sharing our experiences and feelings will help to stimulate your thinking. We hope this booklet will help you to understand how many birth parents feel, and how you might feel if you decide to place your child for adoption. We hope that this booklet will help you to learn and understand more about your choices, because whatever decision you make will affect you for the rest of your life.”

Chronicles of Michael: Part One. Dr Alex Shergold. 2011. 206p. PublishAmerica (UK).
The author’s husband, the eponymous Michael, had been contacted by Hampshire Social Services informing him he was the father of a son he never knew he had. Andrew, five, was born after Michael had split with a previous girlfriend and Michael had no idea he even existed. More bizarre, Social Services wanted him to agree to Andrew, whose mother could no longer care for him, being adopted. As you can imagine, this was a bombshell for Alex and Michael—but in fact Alex stood by him. More than this, they both felt if Michael had a son, they did not want him to be adopted by strangers and he should live with them. However, when they went to Social Services, they discovered he was already living with the family that was to adopt him, and Social Services didn’t even want to consider that Michael and Alex could have him instead (despite the fact they both had other children themselves). As Alex and Michael looked into this more, they then discovered what they believed was the real reason why Social Services rang Michael. Andrew had a medical problem that, unless he had a transplant from a blood relative, meant he would not live beyond his teenage years, and they wanted Michael to agree to give Andrew this transplant. But bizarrely, even if he agreed, Michael would never be allowed to see Andrew. Incredibly, if the transplant worked, Andrew would also never be told it was from his father. At the time Social Services placed an injunction on this story to stop it being told. But after a legal battle, this was lifted and the story appeared in the Mail on Sunday. Today Michael is still fighting to see Andrew—and now Alex has written a book about their battle for Michael’s son.

Chuck: An Experience. Carl Sterland (pseudonym). 1969. 181p. Doubleday.
From the Back Cover: The deeply moving story of two strangers who became father and son.

Carl Sterland never knew his illegitimate child. He sometimes wondered whether it was a boy or a girl, alive or dead. But a phone call one October morning told him he had a son: 21 years old, handsome, intelligent and in serious trouble. Despite the 2,000 miles and 21 years that separated them, they had lived remarkably parallel lives. Now each was trapped in an existence he could escape only with the other’s help.


Compiler’s Note: In a brief article in the January 24, 1970 edition of The New York Times (p. 23), it was announced that Rock Hudson and Rod McKuen had teamed up to produce a film adaptation of the book under the auspices of their production company, R and R Productions. This did not happen, and the story behind this failure, as well as many other details of the men’s relationship, is told in some detail by Barry Alfonso in his book, A Voice of the Warm: The Life of Rod McKuen (pp. 103-107).


Circle of Grace. Mikie Casem, with Theresa Palumbo. 2013. 178p. AuthorHouse.
None of us can predict the endless twists and turns of life or the unimaginable impact that our Christian faith can have on its outcome. Through faith, one of God’s gifts we receive at our baptism, we are able to share God’s kindness and love—His Grace—among one another. Through God’s gift of free will, we can choose or not choose to share or seek God’s grace. Aside from so-called routine acts of kindness, grace encounters can come crashing into our laps out of nowhere or perhaps through a vague awareness that a stranger somewhere is facing a crisis. Our response often demands an extraordinary act of faith. In an uplifting tone, sprinkled with self-effacing, humorous reflections, Mikie Casem poignantly unfolds an often painful journey which led him and his wife, Rita, to not one, but two, extraordinary encounters with grace and a woman named Theresa Palumbo. During their journey, more than a few Catholic Clergy and Religious offered them practical advice, lifted them up from despair or challenged them to grow in their faith. Theresa Palumbo also candidly shares her two extraordinary encounters with Mikie and Rita: first, as an unwed, pregnant teen who was welcomed into the Casem home to live with a family she had never met and again, 32 years later, living 300 miles away, married with a family of her own and teaching school, when Theresa learned of Mikie’s end-stage illness. She made an astonishing decision to return and do what she could to try to save his life.

Confessions of a Lost Mother. Elisa M Barton, ed. 1996. 157p. EM Barton.
The question came in the form of an e-mail message from a young adoptee. It was the first time that Elisa Barton had been asked this question in the 19 years since she had relinquished her newborn son for adoption. Encouraged by this and other questions which had been asked and answered via online communication, Ms. Barton soon decided to write of her experiences and the experiences of others: experiences chronicled in electronic postings the various adoption forums of the Internet. Ms. Barton’s book is an extraordinary exploration of adoption: its text emerges not from the pens of “experts” but from the hearts, minds, and keyboards of members of the adoption triad. While not everyone will agree with Ms. Barton’s conclusions regarding adoption, one cannot come away from reading this book without having his or her own assumptions about adoption practice challenged.

Conquering Chaos. Catelynn Lowell & Tyler Baltierra. 2015. 150p. Post Hill Press.
Since Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra shared their story of teen pregnancy and adoption on the MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, they’ve been known for their inspiring commitment to growing up right. Between their experience placing their first daughter for adoption, and their struggle to cope with problems in their families, Catelynn and Tyler were challenged in every imaginable way. But against all odds, the childhood sweethearts rose above the dysfunction to become responsible adults whose story has inspired many others. How did two troublemaking kids from the trailer park make it through the storm of family dysfunction, teen pregnancy, and adoption without letting go of each other? What gave them the strength to conquer the chaos of their lives and go on to become people their children could be proud of? And what really happened when the cameras weren’t there? Now, in their debut book, Catelynn and Tyler tell the story in their own words ... and they leave nothing out. From the wild behavior that went down before MTV to their experiences learning and teaching about adoption, Catelynn and Tyler lay it all out on the table. Open, honest, raw, and real, Conquering Chaos is an incredible look at two young people who beat the odds and used their victories to give hope to others.

Considering Abortion?: Transform Unwanted Pregnancy into a Spiritual Journey. Jennifer Terry. 2011. 26p. (Kindle eBook) J Terry.

Considering Adoption. Mary Motley Kalergis. 2014. 214p. Atelerix Press.
With heartfelt emotion and dozens of beautiful black and white photographs, Considering Adoption describes what it really feels like to adopt, to be adopted, to relinquish a child or to meet your birth mother. Although the challenges are clearly described, the overwhelming message is the possibility for immense joy and fulfillment in building an intentional family. This book is a must read for anyone involved in the adoption process.


Mary Jo Rillera
Cooperative Adoption: A Handbook. Mary Jo Rillera & Sharon Kaplan. 1984. 157p. Triadoption Publications.
Cooperative Adoption...

— presents possibilities, it can be used by each participant differently.

— adds options, it is not a solution for infertility or pregnancy, but an alternative.

— recognizes the child’s access to ALL family members.

— encourages the chhild’s progressive participation in decisions that affect his/her life.

— extends families, it is a journey into relationships that last a lifetime.


About the Author: Mary Jo Rillera, adoptee and birthparent involved in adoptions that have changed from closed to cooperative; author of The Adoption Searchbook, national speaker and consultant on family separation and continuity; Guardian Trustee International Soundex Reunion Registry; Founder TRIADOPTION Library, Inc., P.O. Box 638, Westminster, CA 92684.

Sharon Kaplan, adoptive parent involved in cooperative adoptions; social worker for twenty-five years working with birth and adoptive families; national lecturer on adoption issues; member of Board of Trustees TRIADOPTION Library, Inc.; Director of Parenting Resources, 250 El Camino Real, Suite 111, Tustin, CA 92680.


A Cord of Three Strands: A Story of God’s Woven Grace. Sara W Berry & Tricia J Robbins. 2010. 254p. Bethel Road Publications.
A Cord of Three Strands: A Story of God’s Woven Grace is the true story of three women struggling, searching, and finding God’s redemption and grace despite obstacles and heart-wrenching choices. First Strand: Peggy, a middle aged woman, devoted to God and to her husband, Mitch. Peggy has lived with the heavy burden of longing for 18 long years. Her longing? To be a mother. Infertility time after time has interrupted her hopes and dreams, and at times caused her to question her faith in her loving God. Second Strand: Tricia, a young, rebellious teenager who has lost her first love, Jesus. She has stepped away temporarily from her deep faith in Christ, and finds that even temporary disobedience has great consequences. Third Strand: Hilarie, the baby girl who brings both love and light to all. Through Hilarie, God is writing His redemptive story for the world to see. And the effects of this story, and Hilarie’s love, will change lives, heal wounds, and bind together the three strands in perfect unity.

Cry Purple: One Woman’s Journey through Homelessness, Crack Addiction, and Prison to Blindness, Motherhood and Happiness. Christine McDonald. 2013. 222p. CreateSpace.
Cry Purple is the story of the author’s long journey from nearly two decades of homelessness, street-corner prostitution, crack addiction, and many stints in jail to her present life of total blindness, motherhood, and happiness. The first two-thirds of the book tell the grim story of her youthful unhappiness, how and when she got into prostitution and drug addiction, the horrendous levels of violence that she and some of her fellow prostitutes suffered, and how the drugs eventually reduced her to an almost animal-like state. It was only when she hit rock bottom that she finally found the will to seek help and change her ways. However, after getting clean and then engaged, she had numerous other difficulties and sorrows ahead of her: losing her sight due to a disease and having to have both her eyeballs removed, having a special-needs daughter that she had to give up for adoption due to her inability to care for her, watching her relationship with her children’s father dissolve, and even losing the only really good job she ever had. She currently lives in the St. Louis, Missouri area with her young son, Ricky. She practices an open adoption relationship with her daughter’s adoptive parents, and is seeking new employment. She loves doing motivational speaking, and she does all she can to help and to advocate for the blind and those who have survived or are still living lives like her former one.

A Crying Shame: A Moving, True Story of One Mother’s Lifelong Unwavering Love for the Son She was Forced to Surrender to Adoption. Carol J Tieman. 1994. 148p. Sleepy Hollow Publishing.
A Crying Shame is the story of a mother’s love for the first born child she was forced to surrender to adoption. Personal, emotionally charged and an expressive, heartfelt story that is shared by most mother’s who were given no choice but to relinquish a child to adoption in the last few generations. About the Author: A mother at 17, unwed and left by the child’s father, Carol Tieman was taken to a “home” for unwed mothers where she stayed until the “problem” was resolved. Eighteen years later she began her search for the son she never stopped loving and worrying about.

Daughters. Helen Hudson. 2014. 208p. Grosvenor House Publishing Ltd (UK).
This is a book written by a birth mother about a daughter who is put up for adoption by her own parents without a thought for her own feelings. A family unit of a mother, father and two sisters wait to be re-united. It is a story spanning forty years of difficult relationships with a less than happy ending.

Dear Birthfather. Randolph W Severson. 1992. 13p. Hope Cottage.
Birth fathers are often the forgotten member of the adoption circle. This book hopes to remedy this situation. Its down-to-earth tone will appeal to teenage fathers who are concerned about doing the right thing. Dear Birthfather gives them the information and support they need to make the appropriate decisions during a difficult time.

Dear Diary, I’m Pregnant: Teenagers Talk About Their Pregnancy. Interviews by Anrenée Englander. Edited by Corine Morgan Wilks. 1997. 160p. (YA) (2010. 2nd ed.) Annick Press (Canada).
From the Back Cover: Dear Diary presents the voices of pregnant teens as they talk about their needs, interests, decisions and choices around motherhood, adoption and abortion. They talk about their lives as daughters, sisters, girlfriends, students, workers and women. They talk about plans for the future as well as their strategies for coping and problems they face in their daily lives.

This book increases our knowledge of the realities of teenage pregnancy and, hopefully, will provide guidance and support to pregnant teens and those in their lives.

First published to critical acclaim in 1997, this new edition contains the original interviews as well as updated material and a new resources section. Dear Diary, I’m Pregnant is a non-judgmental source of information for all teens that provides support and guidance in the face of an often difficult situation.


About the Author: Anrenée Englander is interested in women’s health issues, particularly as to how they affect youth. She canvassed and interviewed teenage girls throughout North America for this award-winning collection of personal testimonials. Englander currently lives in Toronto, Ontario.


Dear Son. Philippa Hornsey. 2015. 80p. Lulu.com.
My adoption journey as a mother who was coerced into surrendering.

Dear Son: Letters From a Birth Mother. Angela Dion. 2002. 132p. PublishAmerica.
Have you ever wondered about the heart of a birth mother? How could she carry a child for nine months and give him away? How can she overcome the shame and guilt and learn to forgive herself? Does she think about reuniting with her child? What goes through her mind when she signs the adoption papers? How does she feel each year on her son’s birthday? This book will answer these questions and many more. Get a candid look into the heart of a birth mother in letters she wrote over the course of 20 years to the son she placed for adoption. Grow, cry, laugh, forgive, and heal with her. Learn, as she does, that sometimes saying good-bye is the best way to say “I love you.”

Death by Adoption. Joss Shawyer. 1979. 291p. Cicada Press (New Zealand).
From the Back Cover: Death by Adoption is an account of the tactics used by society to swindle women out of their “unwanted” children. Death By Adoption is the death experienced by the natural mother when she loses a child by adoption. Her grief is unresolvable until such time as she meets the child again, but because of our secret adoption laws such meetings are rare. In-depth interviews with the victims of adoption practice expose the harsh realities of this tidy solution provided by our anti-woman society which uses adoption to punish women who dare to have single sex, and expose too the misery of adopted people who do not know who they are. Death By Adoption puts the case for every woman’s right to choose between abortion or bringing up her child. It puts the case against adoption, which was never her solution but ours and also explodes a few myths about adoption being such a happy solution for the child. It should be read by anyone who cares.

About the Author: Joss Shawyer, an Auckland feminist, is herself the single mother of twins born in 1969. The injustices she experienced as a single mother prompted her into founding, in 1973, the “Council for the Single Mother and Her Child,” an organisation which six years later is a flourishing self-help service for single mothers. Co-author of Everything a Single Parent Needs to Know, now into its third edition, she is also a foundation member of “Jigsaw,” the organisation formed in 1976 for the express purpose of changing adoption law and practice in New Zealand so that adopted people and their natural mothers can one day have the legal right to meet again.

Death By Adoption, with its moving interviews with the victims of adoption practice, is the world’s first radical feminist book on adoption that should be read by women everywhere.


A Death in White Bear Lake: The True Chronicle of an All-American Town. Barry Siegel. 1990. 448p. Bantam.
From the Dust Jacket: On Palm Sunday, 1965, a little boy died of peritonitis in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. He was three and a half years old, and his name was Dennis Jurgens.

Barry Siegel’s extraordinary book is the true story of Dennis, his adoptive parents, Lois and Harold Jurgens, his natural mother Jerry Sherwood, and the many others in the town of White Bear Lake and elsewhere whose lives were touched by them.

And it is much more than that. Here is a vivid portrait of a community deep in the American heartland that won an “All America City” award in 1965, within days of Dennis’s death: its storekeepers and craftsmen, its schoolteachers, housewives, and civic boosters, gathering cheerfully to celebrate birthdays and holidays and the pleasures of the woods and lake—picnicking in summer, sledding, skating, and ice fishing in winter. Here is the picture of a time we remember as full of innocent beliefs, bright hopes, and boundless possibilities. And here above all is a book about how decent, normal people—people like us—acted, or failed to act, at a critical moment in their lives.

Years after Dennis’s death, Jerry Sherwood decided to search for the child she had given up for adoption soon after his birth. He would be nearly grown-up now, and she wanted him to know he had blood relatives. She was prepared if he chose to reject her. She was not prepared for the letter from the welfare department telling her he had died in 1965.

Grieving, she found there was more to the story. From a newspaper clipping she learned that his body bore multiple injuries. From his death certificate she discovered that the coroner had never ruled on the actual cause of death. They had just buried the body—that was all.

When news of Dennis’s fate made the front page of a St. Paul newspaper on October 12, 1986, all the talk in White Bear Lake and beyond, in well-tended houses filled with comfortable people, was of “the Jurgens case.” These were good citizens who had lived the American dream for themselves and their children, but had never forgotten what happened behind the closed door of the house on Gardenette Drive. These were people who had seen Dennis change from a plump, outgoing toddler to a wan, silent child with unaccountable bruises on his face, arms, and legs. These were people who had worried, yet kept their silence.

And these were the people who for all those years had never stopped wondering what they could—or should—have done.

With brilliant immediacy and impeccable detective work, prizewinning journalist Barry Siegel has re-created their lives, and their community, over a span of more than two decades. He has probed the worlds of the police, the medical profession, the social-service system, the legal system, the courts, and the hardworking citizens who serve in them. And from copious records, interviews, and months spent living in White Bear Lake, he has made the town itself as resonant a presence in the book as any of the story’s many characters.

Twenty-two years after a little boy’s death, a verdict was rendered at last, leaving us to face deeply troubling questions about justice—and responsibility. Would any of us have spoken up? Would we speak up today?


About the Author: Barry Siegel is a roving national correspondent for the Los Angeles Times and the winner of many awards for his reporting, including the Livingston Award, the American Bar Association Silver Gavel Award, the PEN Center West Journalism Award, and the State Bar of California Golden Medallion Award for distinguished reporting on the administration of justice. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and young daughter.


Deliver Me: Hope, Help, and Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy. Dianne E Butts. 2011. 236p. Connections Press.
Unplanned pregnancy affects everyone associated with it. Women fear an unknown future, while loved ones often fear the woman’s decision about the outcome of her pregnancy. Deliver Me offers practical help, valuable resources, and well-researched facts, via a collection of true stories, shared by women and men who have lived through unplanned pregnancies.

Delivered: My Harrowing Journey as a Birthmother. Michelle Thorne. 2012. 206p. Michelle Thorne.
Birth mothers are the forgotten, or perhaps hidden, piece in the beautiful triptych of adoption. Based on a true story, Delivered sheds light on adoption, from the perspective of the birth mother. This personal account tells the story of Michelle, who gets pregnant and watches as her world implodes. Realizing she is alone, she enters a maternity home and makes the difficult choice to give her child up for adoption. As her pregnancy comes to term and the adoption proceeds, Michelle’s heart is awakened to who she is and what she believes, while redemption begins to infiltrate her life in unexpected ways. Raw and revealing, Delivered gives a voice to an otherwise silent population who call themselves birth mothers and inspires others to consider that the giving of life to one has a ripple effect, bringing life to many. By the Same Author: Mine, Yours and Ours (2015).

Don’t Abandon Your Baby!: True Life Stories of Babies That Were Almost Abandoned. Debbe Magnusen. 2002. 244p. DeDay Publishing.
Real life stories of babies that were almost abandoned. Learn how these girls and women were kept from breaking the law. See how they ended up being saved by Project Cuddle and the women that run this nation wide crisis hot-line. The stories are unbelievable...BUT THEY ARE TRUE. You won’t want to put this book down until you’ve read every page.

Don’t Ask Her Name: An Adoption Story. Robyn Cooper. 1998. 231p. Cape Catley Ltd (New Zealand).
“Don’t ask her name.” These were the lawyer’s forbidding words to the young couple who had come to sign adoption papers. They wanted the birth mother’s name so they could thank her, and later pass the name on to their children. But first with their baby girl, then their baby son, all contact with the birth mothers was forbidden. Forbidden, that is, until the Adult Adoption Information Act 1985 made it possible for birth parents and their adult children to get together. When the birth parents of Katrina and Aaron made contacts a remarkable series of events was set in motion. Robyn Cooper writes with candour, humour and warmth about her family. The story is interwoven with her own childhood and growing up, and is rich with many aspects life, as well as the whole question of adoption. But there is illness, tragedy and deep anguish too, overwhelming feelings needing courage and determination to work through. Instances of brutality, carelessness, ignorance and insensitivity on the part of some doctors and some social workers seem extraordinary in the New Zealand context. Robyn Cooper doesn’t wallow in the sensational; neither does she gloss over such behaviours. In spite of all this Don’t Ask Her Name is often genuinely, beautifully funny—a most readable and eventually triumphant story of a truly extended family.

Don’t Worry about the Mule Going Blind: Hazel’s Daughter. Betty Tucker. 2014. 186p. CreateSpace.
Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence (e.g., see the Wikipedia entry and the 2006 documentary One Percent). Her childhood was one of debilitating poverty, borne of racism: exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, chronic illness among her family and acquaintances ... the list is long and bitter. Betty survived not only by sheer hard work but also by nurturing a nascent belief that she deserved better. She moved to California, earned her college degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier. Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, want, neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author’s life to examine how they stifled her ability to shape her own life, how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what impact her choices, both intentional and unintentional, had on her life and those of her children.

The Doula Guide to Birth: Secrets Every Pregnant Woman Should Know. Ananda Lowe & Rachel Zimmerman. 2009. 270p. Bantam Books.
From the Back Cover: HERE IS YOUR GUIDE TO THE FASTEST-GROWING TREND IN CHILDBIRTH—A TRADITION AS OLD AS MOTHERHOOD ITSELF.

Doulas, or professional labor assistants, have led thousands of expectant women through the birthing process in a way that’s safe and meaningful, and that creates the birth and post-birth experience all mothers long for. In The Doula Guide to Birth, senior-level doula Ananda Lowe and award-winning health reporter Rachel Zimmerman have written a comprehensive guide that combines science, wit, warmth, and support, as well as the inspirational stories of dozens of mothers and their parents. You’ll find the “doula viewpoint” on every major pregnancy and delivery issue, making this one of the most important childbirth books you’ll ever read and recommend.

• Labor Techniques anyone can use

• Pain medication: do you or don’t you—and when?

• How to prepare for unexpected medical procedures, including cesareans and epidurals

• A clip-out chart of labor techniques, birth plan worksheets, and much more


About the Author: Ananda Lowe has been a leader in the doula movement since 1995. For seven years, she served as assistant director of the Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators, which conducts the oldest national birth doula training program. She has worked with prominent doulas and medical professionals as well as hundreds of mothers across North America. Ms. Lowe has been interviewed by major publications including American Baby, Child, NurseWeek, Parenting, Parents, and Shape’s Fit Pregnancy. She lives in the Boston area.

Rachel Zimmerman has worked as a journalist for more than two decades. She spent ten years at the Wall Street Journal, mostly covering health and medicine, and has written for a range of other publications, including the New York Times, Slate, and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. The recipient of numerous awards for her work, Ms. Zimmerman has reported from Africa, China, Vietnam, Cuba, Europe, and across the United States. In 2008, she was selected as a Knight Science Journalism Fellow at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with her husband and two daughters, each of whom was born with the help of a doula.


Compiler’s Note: See, particularly, “Doula Specialty: Adoption and Surrogacy” (pp.90-94).


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