From the Dust Jacket: Seeking one’s own identity is often a lifelong pursuit. For the child who can look to his biological parents, the search has a starting point. For the adopted child, there is no biological parent—no mirror—to help tell him some of the crucial things about himself. For both adopted children and the many others who may at times worry that they are adopted, this unique presentation creates a shared experience for adult and child by exploring the relationships between an adopted child and his adoptive family. Vivid photographs and a simple, honest text unfold the story for the child, while parents and teachers can follow an accompanying text that provides more specific detail. The adult text serves as a resource for handling the questions and discussion arising spontaneously from the child’s natural curiosity. This novel approach makes the book a truly rare and “open” experience for all ages.

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About the Author: Sara Bonnett Stein has an extensive background in education as a consultant, writer, and designer. The Open Family series has grown out of a life-long dedication to child psychology. The daughter of a prominent psychoanalyst, she has had wide experience in day care centers and nursery schools. She lives in Pound Ridge. New York, with her husband and four sons. Mrs. Stein’s other books include Great Pets!, Kids’ Kitchen Takeover, A Child Goes To School, A Hospital Story, About Handicaps, That New Baby, Making Babies, About Dying, About Phobias and On Divorce.

Erika Stone studied photography at the University of Wisconsin and also at the New School of Social Research with Bernice Abbott and George Tice. Her work has appeared in many leading publications. She is the mother of two sons and makes her home with her husband in New York City.

Fitzgerald is both a biological and adoptive mother and in this memoir examines the pros and cons of open, semi-open, and closed adoption practices from the point of view of adoptees, birth mothers, and adoptive parents. The adoption in 1969 of the author’s four-day-old daughter was closed, and Fitzgerald’s family only emerged from the dark woods of secrecy when her daughter’s birth mother and extended family met up with them 29 years later. This wonderful joining of the respective families has enriched everyone’s life, including that of the grandchildren. Today, Fitzgerald is passionately opposed to closed adoptions and advocates the semi-open practice.

From the Dust Jacket: Heart-rending issues concerning custody, infertility, surrogate motherhood, and other related concerns have captured headlines lately. Here is the human dimension of these issues—a powerful true story of fierce parental love, with deeply caring adoptive parents pitted against a child’s birth mother in a dramatic struggle for custody.

Marguerite Ryan and her husband, after repeated disappointments due to failure to conceive, begin the lengthy process of adopting the newborn child of an unmarried Salvadoran domestic. They fall passionately in love with the baby and bond with him completely. Then, just as the adoption papers are due to be finalized, the child’s birth mother refuses to sign. She decides she wants the baby, although she has no home for him or money to care for him.

The Ryans become involved in a bitter, suspenseful court battle for possession of the baby. One court says yes, another says no over and over as they appeal. Meanwhile Christopher is growing up as the Ryans’ child, although a court order permits visitation by the birth mother, Angelina, so that the baby will know her in the event she is awarded final custody. In one of the book’s most moving scenes, as Angelina starts to take Christopher from his home for a weekend, the child screams in terror for his adoptive mother to rescue him, as the adults grapple for him.

Amidst this conflict, the author, who has returned to her Catholic faith, seeking emotional support, has a revelation. In church on Easter Sunday she hears the priest say, “Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” She is inspired to create a unique solution, one that, though unconventional, is right for all of them.

This beautifully uplifting, evocative story, which reads like a novel, will appeal to all readers who ever have felt the joy and privilege of love of a child.

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About the Author: Marguerite Ryan is a pseudonym the author has adopted to protect the privacy of Christopher and the younger brother the Ryans have since adopted without any of the difficulty they experienced with Christopher. She lives with her husband and two young sons in New York City.

From the Publisher: In Adoption Without Fear, 17 couples give the stories of their experiences with open adoption. The reader shares in their joy and pain as they travel the road to adoption. They describe the bittersweet feelings as they add a child to their family while watching the birth parents say good-bye. Through these first person narratives, you come to understand what the term open adoption really means.

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About the Author: James L. Gritter is Child Welfare Supervisor for Community, Family and Children Services in Traverse City, Michigan. He has an M.S.W. from Western Michigan University and is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

From the Dust Jacket: All her life Ann Kiemel had a persistent dream—an urgent longing. She wanted to be a mother. Through the years she filled many important roles and enjoyed many successes, climaxed by becoming the wife of Will Anderson, the man God brought into her life. But the fulfillment of her dream of motherhood was denied to her. Time after time she conceived, only to miscarry in the early stages of pregnancy. No treatment or surgery was able to give Ann and Will the gift of parenthood they so much desired.

At a particularly low point, a planned adoption fell through at the last moment. The heartbroken couple knelt in the beautifully equipped—but empty—nursery, and Ann heard her husband pray, “If you aren’t finished with us ... if there are still lessons to learn ... keep pouring on the heat.”

Ann was able to say “yes” to Will’s prayer, and a new era of commitment began in their lives. It was then that God sent a series of miracles that brought two adopted baby boys into their home, filling every corner with joy and the delights of parenthood.

Adoptions are always exciting, but when Ann and Will Anderson adopted two beautiful baby boys—just eleven months apart—those were adoptions with a difference! Ann and Will chose to bring their sons’ birth mothers to Idaho several weeks in advance of delivery; to get to know them well and to be known by them; to make sure that when the moment came for each woman to relinquish her baby, she would be making a mature, carefully considered decision.

In this heartwarming book, Ann tells—as only she can do, of the friendships formed ... of the time spent in Lamaze classes together ... of the hours in the delivery room ... and of the climactic moments when first Taylor, and later Brock, became truly her own.

A gift from the birth mothers. A gift from God. And with the gift came laughter!

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Compiler’s Note: This book was reissued in 1990 as an “updated and expanded edition” under the title Open Adoption: My Story of Love and Laughter, in which the author incorporated the stories of the adoption of her next two sons, Colson and Brandt. Individuals who have read this book and who posted reviews on Amazon.com in 2001 and 2004 noted that the author’s concept of “open” adoption was limited to allowing the birth mother to visit with the child within the first 12 to 18 months following the adoption, and then permanently cutting off all contact.

In addition to being a public speaker, she is the author of several other books, including an account of her courtship and marriage to her husband called I Gave God Time. About ten years after this book was published, Mr. Anderson died of cancer, leaving her to raise their four boys as a single parent.

Arms Wide Open provides a window into the lives of young pregnant women struggling with the decision of making an adoption plan or becoming a single parent. It is a vital tool for couples considering open adoption. Mrs. Waters clearly outlines the emotional turmoil of the birth mothers and offers suggestions to help make an open adoption a positive experience for the child, the adoptive parents and the birth mother. About the Author: Jane Waters is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and has worked for over 20 years in the mental health field. She has been counseling women considering open adoption for over 15 years. She and her husband, Chris, have two children, two step-children and two dogs. They live in Owasso, OK.

For the first time, a birth mother shares a story where regrets are replaced with respect, pain is replaced with love, and secrecy is replaced with honesty. Author Patricia Dischler provides a poignant and moving narrative, notable for its honesty. Patricia chose an open adoption arrangement for her son Joe in 1985. He is now an adult and their story has come full circle.

From the Publisher: The four booklets in The Open Adoption Pocket Book Series are designed to give prospective birth parents and adoptive parents a concise introduction to the many different issues in open adoption. Being a Birthparent explores issues such as being a birth parent in an open adoption, fitting into the lives of your child and his or her adoptive family, and how does the experience affect other parts of your life.

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About the Author: Brenda Romanchik is the birth mother of a 15-year-old son, Matthew, whom she placed in an open adoption at birth. She is the author of a number of open adoption books and publications as well as the owner of R-Squared Press, a publishing company dedicated to bringing the public resources for open adoption. Brenda is a firm believer that for open adoptions to work, those involved need practical information on how to handle the relationships open adoptions create. She also believes that birth parents and adoptive parents need ongoing support. With this in mind, in 1994, Brenda organized the first Lifegiver’s Festival in Traverse City, Michigan with Jim Gritter, the author of The Spirit of Open Adoption. Since that time she has facilitated seven national Lifegiver’s Festivals in Higgins Lake, MI, and is taking it “on the road” to other locations all over the country. She is also involved in organizing The Open Adoption Families Conference, held every even year. She is also a participant in a number of national and regional adoption conferences.

The four booklets in The Open Adoption Pocket Book Series are designed to give prospective birth parents and adoptive parents a concise introduction to the many different issues in open adoption. Birthparent Grief takes the mystery out of the process and helps birth parents (and others!) to define their loss and understand the grieving process. About the Author: Brenda Romanchik is the birth mother of a 15-year-old son, Matthew, whom she placed in an open adoption at birth. She is the author of a number of open adoption books and publications as well as the owner of R-Squared Press, a publishing company dedicated to bringing the public resources for open adoption. Brenda is a firm believer that for open adoptions to work, those involved need practical information on how to handle the relationships open adoptions create. She also believes that birth parents and adoptive parents need ongoing support. With this in mind, in 1994, Brenda organized the first Lifegiver’s Festival in Traverse City, Michigan with Jim Gritter, the author of The Spirit of Open Adoption. Since that time she has facilitated seven national Lifegiver’s Festivals in Higgins Lake, MI, and is taking it “on the road” to other locations all over the country. She is also involved in organizing The Open Adoption Families Conference, held every even year. She is also a participant in a number of national and regional adoption conferences.

From the Publisher: Blended Hearts, Broken Promises chronicles the true story of one family’s choice to strategically select a family to parent and care for their child through open adoption. Although told by the agency that open adoption isn’t legally recognized in her state, they were given verbal promises of an open adoption that would ideally blend together the birth family and the adoptive family to raise the child with healthy, caring relationships. But the promises made to the birth family were soon broken. They found themselves misled and betrayed. With nowhere left to turn except to God, they drew strength from their faith in the promises of His Word, while holding on to the hope that one day their two families would blend together through the shared love for a child. In this book, author L.J. Kats submits hope for working through the complex issues associated with open adoption and gives an account of the real side of relinquishment for the birth family. She confronts heart issues and essential questions that all family members need to consider before making the decision to enter into an open adoption. Whether you are faced with the decision of giving up a child for open adoption or you are in the beginning stages of becoming open adoptive parents, Blended Hearts, Broken Promises is a must read.

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About the Author: L.J. Kats began researching open adoption over six years ago. Her earned doctorate degree in education required an extensive background in research and writing. Dr. Kats and her husband reside in both Oklahoma and Nebraska. She and her husband have four biological children and one adopted child. Along with the biological grandchild specific to this story, their adopted child and husband have two adopted children, making Dr. Kats and her husband biological and adoptive grandparents. Their adopted grandchildren have very successful open adoptions. She supports an adoption agency in Oklahoma whose mission is to place families with children who will know their heritage without clouds of secrecy.

Charli’s Super Big Family Tree is a heart-warming story of a four-year-old adopted child trying to understand the meaning of “open adoption.” If Charli didn’t grow in her Mommy’s tummy, where did she come from? Did she hatch from an egg ... or sprout like a flower? Or ... the scariest thought of all, was she beamed down to earth like ... GULP ... ALIENS?! With the help of her mom and a letter from her birth mother, Charli learns what “open adoption” means. She understands that she’s part of a super big family tree and she is loved!

From the Back Cover: For nearly a decade, open adoption has been rapidly gaining ground, replacing the sealed records and the secrecy and shame that were for so long attached to the subject. One persistent question has not been answered until now: What is the effect of open adoption on the children?

At last, two pioneers in the field present important evidence that begins to answer this complicated question. Examining scores of actual adoption experiences, they focus, in separate chapters, on infants, preschoolers, school-age children, and teenagers. They show how love is multiplied and energies are used more productively when family ties are not a mystery.

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About the Author: Kathleen Silber was born and reared in Stockton, California, graduated from the University of California at Davis, and received her Master’s degree in Social Welfare from the University of California at Berkeley. She is the co-author of Dear Birthmother and is nationally known (including numerous national media appearances) for her pioneering work in open adoption. Kathleen and her husband and two children live in California, where she is Associate Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center in Pleasant Hill.

Patricia M. Dorner has been a vocal proponent of open adoption as well as search and reunion. She graduated from McGill University and received her Master’s degree in Counseling from San Francisco State University. Living in San Antonio with her family, she has an adoption-focused private practice incorporating counseling, searching, training, and education.

Cooperative Adoption...

— presents possibilities, it can be used by each participant differently.

— adds options, it is not a solution for infertility or pregnancy, but an alternative.

— recognizes the child’s access to ALL family members.

— encourages the chhild’s progressive participation in decisions that affect his/her life.

— extends families, it is a journey into relationships that last a lifetime.

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About the Author: Mary Jo Rillera, adoptee and birthparent involved in adoptions that have changed from closed to cooperative; author of The Adoption Searchbook, national speaker and consultant on family separation and continuity; Guardian Trustee International Soundex Reunion Registry; Founder TRIADOPTION Library, Inc., P.O. Box 638, Westminster, CA 92684.

Sharon Kaplan, adoptive parent involved in cooperative adoptions; social worker for twenty-five years working with birth and adoptive families; national lecturer on adoption issues; member of Board of Trustees TRIADOPTION Library, Inc.; Director of Parenting Resources, 250 El Camino Real, Suite 111, Tustin, CA 92680.

Cry Purple is the story of the author’s long journey from nearly two decades of homelessness, street-corner prostitution, crack addiction, and many stints in jail to her present life of total blindness, motherhood, and happiness. The first two-thirds of the book tell the grim story of her youthful unhappiness, how and when she got into prostitution and drug addiction, the horrendous levels of violence that she and some of her fellow prostitutes suffered, and how the drugs eventually reduced her to an almost animal-like state. It was only when she hit rock bottom that she finally found the will to seek help and change her ways. However, after getting clean and then engaged, she had numerous other difficulties and sorrows ahead of her: losing her sight due to a disease and having to have both her eyeballs removed, having a special-needs daughter that she had to give up for adoption due to her inability to care for her, watching her relationship with her children’s father dissolve, and even losing the only really good job she ever had. She currently lives in the St. Louis, Missouri area with her young son, Ricky. She practices an open adoption relationship with her daughter’s adoptive parents, and is seeking new employment. She loves doing motivational speaking, and she does all she can to help and to advocate for the blind and those who have survived or are still living lives like her former one.

This book is a raw and uncensored account of a daughter’s first year of grieving for her dead father. It gives the readers a chance to watch a grieving person for a year—written in real time—it is not a book “looking back” on a year of grieving and perhaps misinterpreting the realities of it; nor is it a book telling the reader “this is what’s going to happen.” It is reality—written as it was experienced. It is about a plethora of subjects and topical issues for discussion: adults burying parents; family dynamics in grief situations; hospitals; open adoption and its effects; small town life... and much more. It is set in a small town, yet has universal appeal. It is non-fiction, yet reads like a novel. It is about grieving, yet causes the reader to laugh. It is resonating with her personal faith, yet does not preach nor condemn. It is a book celebrating the agony of grief. It is a book not soon forgotten. The author writes with an insightful realism that brings tears, laughter, and hope. Her descriptive and colorful writings create a window into the thought process of a person struggling with loss. This is not a scientific study of how to deal with grief, but it is an opportunity to walk with Krisanne on her personal path of questioning, shock, pain, numbness, loneliness, fear, and anger—and in so doing, perhaps see yourself.

From the Back Cover: For many young couples, the joy of finding out they are expecting a child is enough to fill an entire household with eternal celebration. Each year, millions of couples receive the good news and embark on the exciting process of preparing for a new member of the family.

For others, that day may never come.

Even the best intentions cannot bring forth a child without the right mix of science and luck. Couples who have not had success with traditional routes have few options available. Adoption is a common, but complicated, route. While there are guides and books available in the quest for a successful adoption, the road can be a very tricky one to navigate.

Oftentimes, an adoption agency will make the expecting parents those who intend to adopt-fill out lengthy questionnaires, background, and reference checks. As couples pour through the list of birth mother profiles, and consider all the interpersonal nuances of traditional adoption, they can become exhausted and confused with the process.

Open adoption is different, but not without its own challenges.

The book in your hands, Dear Child: Four Journeys to Successful Open Adoption shares all the joys, fears, and moments of exhilaration of four open adoption journeys. Inside this book, you’ll hear personal stories of heartbreak, anxiety, confusion, and triumph as the authors seek to make their families whole with the introduction of a new child. The authors discuss the types of adoption available including open adoption where the birth parents and adoptive parents contribute to the child’s welfare.

Open adoption has become more popular in recent decades. These unique and heartwarming stories will make you rejoice, laugh, and cry; but most of all, they will give you hope.

In this slim volume, the author tries “to present a cogent and credible philosophical justification for the practice of open adoption while also detailing how that philosophy might bloom first in specific rituals and practices whose effectiveness is there for all to see and, second, into a poetic revelation of something both about the grandeur of the human spirit and the healing power of love.”

From the Back Cover: This book is a truly moving account of one couple’s journey through infertility into the world of open adoption, and the magic that occurs through the joining of two families brought together by the birth of a child. Sandy’s story is poignant, sometimes funny and always bluntly honest, as the reader becomes acquainted with both the adoptive parents-to-be and the birth family who has chosen them. It leaves the reader with a much deeper understanding of the sacredness of this entire process. It’s a must-read for anyone whose life has been touched by adoption.

A story of great love for one child! This book is a moving account of one couple’s journey through infertility into the world of open adoption, and the magic that occurs through the joining of two families brought together by the birth of a child. This story is poignant, sometimes funny and always bluntly honest, as the reader becomes acquainted with both the adoptive parents-to-be and the birth family who has chosen them. It leaves the reader with a much deeper understanding of the sacredness of this entire process. It’s a must-read for anyone whose life has been touched by adoption.

From the Dust Jacket: “WERE WOMEN BUILT TO GIVE BABIES AWAY? WHAT AGELESS DETACHMENT, WHAT PRIMITIVE RESERVES OF INDIFFERENCE, COULD I COUNT ON INA MOMENT LIKE THIS? WHAT COULD I FIND IN THE PAGES OF MY WORKBOOK TO PERSUADE ME IT COULD BE DONE —-WHAT SO MANY PEOPLE HAD TOLD ME, WITH CERTAINTY, THEY COULD NEVER DO?”

After many arduous hours of labor, Amy Seek finally holds her newborn son close. Birth has transformed her, and amid her surging hormones and peaceful amnesia, she can hardly think of anything beyond the hospital bed. But she has already made a plan that will intrude upon this perfect harmony. Months earlier, she chose to do an open adoption, where she would be able to select the parents and maybe even have a lasting relationship with her son and his new family. As a young student with a bright future, she was making what seemed the wisest choice. But now, affected by her glimpse of motherhood, she is faced with an almost unimaginable decision: whether to sign the papers and relinquish all parental rights.

God and Jetfire is Amy Seek’s candid account of her choice to surrender her son in an open adoption and of their relationship over the twelve years that follow. When she discovers she is pregnant, Seek and her ex-boyfriend begin an exhaustive search for a family to raise their child. They sift through countless “Dear Birth Mother” letters, craft an extensive questionnaire, and interview potential couples. But finding the right match and giving up their child is just the beginning, and in the subsequent months and years, Seek struggles to reconcile her sadness with the hope that she has done the best for her son, a struggle complicated by her continued active presence in his life.

Written with literary poise and distinction, God and Jetfire is a story of a life divided between grief and gratitude, regret and joy. It is an elegy for a lost motherhood, a celebration of a family gained, and an apology to a beloved son.

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About the Author: Amy Seek is a landscape architect. She lives in London and New York.

From the Back Cover: It’s cliché to say it, but you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Clichés are cliché because they’re true. When a potential birth parent is browsing through profiles, being able to create an ideal first impression is essential for hopeful adoptive parents.

An ideal profile can help catch the eye of potential birth parents by more effectively showing how their homes work, look, and feel. Because few (if any) adoption agencies use the “first come, first served” method anymore, some couples are chosen very quickly—but others, who might not have the right tools, wait for years.

If you’re hoping to adopt, there are things you can do to greatly increase the odds that you will be one of the couples whose wait is a short one.

Not all adoption agencies are the same. Different agencies will have different methods for creating your profile. Some use scrapbooks, others do everything online. Still, others will use a combination of various resources. Some agencies want one profile letter, some want two (one from each of the hopeful adoptive parents). Some ask for the letter to be written in first person, while others prefer third person, and some prefer a combination of the two. Confusing? Yes. Here’s the point: the basic principles will be the same, no matter the style.

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About the Author: Russell Elkins has always been a family man at heart, looking forward to the day when he could be a husband and a father. It took him a little while, but eventually his eyes locked onto a beautiful blonde, and he has never looked away. Russell and Jammie were married in 2004. They had the same goals for their home and didn’t want to wait too long before starting their family. However, filling their home quickly with children wasn’t in the cards, and they found themselves weighing their options to overcome problems with infertility. Their lives changed dramatically the day they decided to adopt. Russell and Jammie have adopted two beautiful children, Ira and Hazel, and have embraced their role as parents through open adoption. Both are actively engaged in the adoption community by communicating through social media, taking part in discussion panels, and writing songs about adoption.

Russell was born on Andrews Air Force Base near Washington, D.C., in the fall of 1977. Along with his five siblings, he and his military family moved around a lot, living in eight different houses by the time he left for college at age 17. Although his family moved away from Fallon, Nevada, just a few months after he moved out, he still considers that little oasis in the desert to be his childhood hometown. Even after leaving home, Russell always stayed close to his family. He shared an apartment with each of his three brothers at different times during his college career. They formed a band together back in the 1990s and still perform on a regular basis under the name of the Invisible Swordsmen. After nearly a decade of college and changing his major a few times, Russell received his bachelor’s degree in sociology from Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. He later graduated from Ameritech College where he learned the trade of being a dental lab technician. Russell now owns and operates Elkins Dental Lab located in Meridian, ID.

From the Back Cover: Using the kens of hospitality to explore the creative potential of adoptive relationships, James L. Gritter offers a congenial yet challenging depiction of adoption. In his hands, hospitality becomes the next phase of open adoption. The hospitious perspective encourages families to forge meaningful, dynamic, and enduring connections. And with its insight that each participant will play the role of guest and host as an adoption matures, hospitality enables us to see the children of adoption in a bold new way—as emerging hosts.

With case studies from the author’s experience, Hospitious Adoption considers each step of the process. The book also carefully examines potential barriers to hospitality: an expectant parent’s decision to discontinue a proposed adoption, a pairing of very different birth parents and adoptive parents, as adoptive family’s concern about privacy, an agency’s worry about efficiency. Drawing on his personal perspective, Gritter discusses the link between hospitality and faith. With its power to bring people together and to help children feel “at home,” hospitality offers an encouraging way forward.

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About the Author: James L. Gritter, MSW, was the child welfare supervisor at Catholic Human Services in Traverse City, Michigan, for more than thirty years. Named Social Worker Pioneer by the National Association of Social Workers and an Angel in Adoption by Congress, he is a recipient of the Baran-Pannor Award for Excellence in Open Adoption. His previous books include Adoption Without Fear, which he edited, as well as The Spirit of Open Adoption (CWLA Press, 1997) and Lifegivers: Framing the Birthparent Experience in Open Adoption (CWLA Press, 2000). He and his wife live in Williamsburg, Michigan.

Patricia Martinez Dorner is a licensed therapist who has 17 years experience helping birth and adoptive families open up their relationships with each other. Author of Talking to Your Child About Adoption and co-author of Children of Open Adoption (with Kathleen Silber), Ms. Dorner is a nationally recognized leader in open adoption education. In this book, she gives readers the tools they need to make opening their adoption the best experience it can be. It is also an invaluable tool for the adoption professional.

From the Back Cover: This is the true story of the adoption of Danny and Rita. Spanning some three decades, the story tells how Tom and Nathalie, a white couple, adopted the two children of a young black woman with a serious mental illness. Rita settles in with her new family, while Danny isn’t sure. It follows the children as they get to know their birth father’s family and in time make their dramatic decision, one by one, to leave their adoptive home. But that is not the end of the story...

The story begins at a time when the political landscape was different—transracial adoptions were commonplace and did not provoke the debate or stir up the strong feelings that they do today. But as events unfold, the landscape has begun to change and has implications for all those involved.

This honest account of one couple’s attempt to create a family is set against a background of adoption issues that are as relevant today as they were thirty years ago.

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About the Author: Nathalie Seymour is the pseudonym of a retired civil servant with a background in social work. She has collaborated in a number of published research papers, articles and textbooks.

Are you or are your family and friends confused about openness in adoption? A Letter to Adoptive Parents on Open Adoption is an introduction to the subject. This book is a compilation of information that is helpful in preparing for an open adoption. You’ll need extra copies to give to other people in your life who may not understand or agree with you about open adoption.

An open adoption relationship can be scary! Open adoption means that an adopted child has a relationship with his or her biological family. But just how “open” should that relationship be? There is nothing in this world like an open adoption. Because of that, it’s hard to foresee the many different scenarios that will come. You do your best to plan ahead, but you’ll still find yourself in situations you hadn’t fully considered. Should you connect with your child’s birthparents on social media? Should you allow face-to-face visits? How often should you share photos and letters? This book cannot answer these types of questions for you. What it will do, is help you envision how these intimate interactions can positively or negatively affect your relationship so that you can answer them for yourself. It will walk you through many of these situations to help you plan for what could be one of the most rewarding relationships in your life.

This book examines all the ways in which birth parents are marginalized in society and from the adoption process. It provides a glimpse of the birth parents’ emotional roller coaster ride as they struggle with grief, ambivalence, and regret. Lifegivers makes the persuasive case that the best interest of the child is served when birth parents and adoptive parents work together to ensure that the birth parents remain a part of their children’s lives. It challenges us to treat everyone involved in the adoption process—birth parents, adoptive families, and the children—with honor and respect.

Adopted persons face challenges their entire lives as they struggle to answer the mo basic question: Who am !? The hope of open adoption is that adopted children will develop stronger identities if they have the opportunity to develop healthy ongoing relationships with their families of origin. Making Room in Our Hearts offers an intimate look at how these relationships evolve over time, with real-life stories from families who have experienced open adoption first-hand. This book helps both adoptive and birth parents address their fears and concerns, while offering them the support to put the child’s psychological and spiritual needs at the center of adoption. Based on interviews with more than one hundred adopted children, birth and adoptive parents, extended families, professionals and experts, the book is an effective and invaluable resource for those considering open adoption, those experiencing it and professionals in the field. Openness has altered the landscape of adoption, and Making Room in Our Hearts will help us catch up to the reality that is open adoption today.

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About the Author: Mickey Duxbury, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has practiced in the Bay Area for over twenty years. She specializes in pre- and post-adoption education and counseling and helping families successfully navigate open relationships. She has facilitated adoption support groups for eight years and is an adoptive parent herself.

Marbles, the singular memoir by Robert Biederman, sub-titled Frontiers of Mortality, is a collection of 21 unforgettable and extravagantly diverse personal experiences. Biederman examines life at inception, at death, and the many moral choices in between. His bag of Marbles focus on family relationships, their evolution and devolution as well as a few comic moments that reflect some of the absurdity in our judgment. What results is an uncompromising look at life’s hardest moments, narrated with warmth and humility. ... In the chapter entitled “Dedicated to Emma,” teenage pregnancy leads to a journey through Open Adoption and its unintended unpredictable consequences.

From the Back Cover: Does God really hear and answer very specific prayers? Can He really bring us from the depths of despair and bless us beyond belief? The answer to these questions is a resounding “yes”! This story details the journey of one couple from the agonizing despair of infertility to the joy of open adoption.

• Are you facing infertility?

• Is someone you love walking through this devastating ordeal?

• Have you considered open adoption, but still have uncertainties?

• Are you facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering your options?

• Are there trials in your life that just seem impossible to overcome?

As you read this book, you will walk with the author through the darkness of disbelief, sorrow, anger, bitterness and hopelessness. You will be amazed as the pieces of a puzzle emerge and God miraculously joins them together. You will rejoice as the darkness fades and joy arrives with the dawn. You will marvel at the masterpiece. And your faith will be strengthened.

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About the Author: Bobbi Grubb has shared this amazing personal story at speaking engagements for many years. The testimony has touched the lives of countless infertile couples, women in unplanned pregnancies, and others seeking encouragement. Bobbi has been involved in adoption counseling for ten years and serves on the board of directors of a crisis pregnancy center. She stays busy homeschooling her two sons. Bobbi and her husband, Steve, will celebrate 25 years of marriage in 2008.